The tradition I hope I never stop doing is this letter for my little guy. It’s always wonderful to read the past letters I have written to him and be reminded of sweet things I may have forgotten. If you’d like to you can read his first, second and third birthday letters. I will also probably go sob to some videos of him as a newborn at some point today. Just kidding….but not really.
What is it about parenthood that makes you pray for time to both speed up and slow down all at once. I am constantly looking forward to who he will be and clinging to the baby he was. They tell you so much about parenthood but not how it will shape your heart and completely change how you love. But enough of that, this is supposed to be a letter to my sweet little dude.
Today you are four. I think even typing those words is gonna make me cry. I can’t even believe it. It feels like just yesterday (oh hang on your doing something downstairs that has resulted in fake crying) I was sitting in a hospital wondering how I was gonna do this. How could I possibly get thru having a baby?! And even more insane how was I gonna raise you? It was like up until that point none of it was real and suddenly I was faced with the fact that I might not be good enough to have you. And I’m still faced with that feeling now and then. When I lose my temper but you still want to hug me and love me. I know in that instance I probably don’t deserve your love but lord I am so glad you give it to me. From the moment I saw you on that screen I loved you. Heck from the moment I knew what being a mum was I prayed that I would get to have a baby. And you are everything I dreamed of.
You are wild, silly, smart, you love those around you so freely. You never shy away from making someone laugh. You love Thomas the train still but you have started to love superheroes (mostly Batman) and Ninjas. You still loath sleep and I’ve sort of come to accept that….okay not really. You like eating pizza, chicken fried rice and quesadillas. You will eat fruit all day long if I let you. You surprisingly like broccoli and you do not like mashed potatoes or ramen which makes me wonder about you sometimes 😜
Daddy coming home is still one of your favorite things in the world. You love to run and giggle and play with him when he gets home. You love to come into my bed in the morning and have snuggles every single day and I love it too. It’s one of the best ways to start the day. You call your toes “finger toes” sometimes and you still call white “fwhipe” and that’s probably because I never correct you because I absolutely love it.
You confuse and frustrate me sometimes. And I see so much of myself in you. You talk a lot. And coming from me that must mean you talk a lot. You have endless amounts of energy and we are still working on the terrible two attitude at times. You are potty trained though (thank you lord!!) you sleep like a rock once your asleep, you know your Alphabet, you can count to 10 alone and 20 with a little help, you know your colors and shapes. You are so excited to go to school. You loved your swim classes even though you spent most of the time with your goggles on staring at the bottom of the pool.
Basically I think you’re great. You are one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. You made me who I was meant to be…your mum. Thank you for all the love you give me, the joy and the laughter. You are forever my baby even as you edge one year farther away from being a baby. I can’t wait to see you grow more into the young man you will become. I love you immensely honey, now and forever.
I love you sweet boy